I had a hard time during yesterday's preach (Fruit 1 - Faithfulness) I broke down in tears during the talk and in front of everyone and never completely recovered.
I don't cry often, but when I do it is usually something sappy like a film... and often a film that you shouldn't really cry over at my age (and gender - if we're being stereotypical). I've cried at ET, Toy Story 3, The Abyss, and The Tigger Movie. So it seems (The Abyss excepted) that I need to stop watching kids films.
Yesterday was not a sappy moment; the tears weren't due to a particularly dramatic event or horrific happening either. I've had a few late nights in a row and we had hosted my family over for Chloe's birthday celebrations and there was a slightly unexpected confrontation there, but nothing that should have caused such a reaction. But the blow out from that confrontation drove a bit of a wedge between Jules and I for a short while (overnight... don't worry, we're good). I don't want to pretend for a second that I understand how God feels, but "break my heart for what breaks yours" became very real to me. As I was preaching on the fruit of the Spirit and the negative list that precedes it I was struck by the way many in our church are going through hardship and difficulty in a massively diverse range of personal, work and social situations. But you know what... God loves us.
I don't know where we go from here. All I know is that as we explore the fruit and "abide in the Holy Spirit", we can expect many more encounters of God revealing his heart towards us.
Now watch this rap about how awesome dad's are and try not to laugh too hard at the dad crying at the kids film (at about 2 minutes).